Ordinary Miracles…
September 13, 2008 | Updates
I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. And, I should write about all we’ve been doing. But I don’t feel like writing about that stuff tonight. Tonight, I want to write about miracles. This post was inspired again by our family pictures. When I logged back on to view them tonight to choose which ones I want to order, Kam (our wonderful photographer) had set our slideshow to music. And she couldn’t have chosen a more appropriate song for our little family. It brought me to tears and I just wanted to write about how absolutely blessed we are. I’m sure many of you can relate in similar ways. And I hope that as you read this, you will think of the little things in your lives that are miracles. The song Kam chose for our little family was “Ordinary Miracle” by Sarah McLachlan (one of my favorite singers). If you have the time, the instructions on how to view the slideshow again (with the music) are in the post following this one.
As I watched the slideshow tonight, my mind flooded with memories from the history of our little family. It all began with a 16 year old girl and a 17 year old boy who met in high school too many years back. The odds were stacked against them. They were too young to date exclusively and, honestly, shouldn’t have. They spent their final year in high school 400 miles apart and wrote to each other every day. And soon after high school, they were married - just 18 and 19 years old. It was in those circumstances that our little family began. And within a year, as we struggled to support ourselves, driving an old beat up Ford Taurus and living in a tiny apartment, going to school and working, our first son (Tanner) was born. What a struggle it was to keep up with everything with a new baby in our midst! But he was such a joy that we never regretted having him early on in our marriage.
There were a lot of moves those next few years and lots of hard work, but 5 years later, I graduated from college just 3 weeks after adding our second little boy (Weston) to our family. And on graduation day, we moved to our first home. It was in that home that most of our memories as a family were formed. It was 4 years later that our 3rd little boy (Benjamin) entered the mix and how glad we were to have him in our lives. At 2 months old, a tumor was discovered near his brain and we had our first encounter with Primary Children’s hospital and with the fragilness of life. How little we knew that we would return there not so many years later during the most tragic event in our lives. But fortunately with Ben, a very scary surgery, a few days in the hospital and months of healing and he was fine. But it had changed us in some ways and we knew enough now to hope and pray for the health and safety of our young boys each and every day.
So, when boy number 4 (Samuel) hit our home, there was no sadness that we hadn’t conceived a girl. We were simply thrilled that he was healthy. And by that time, we had put in enough hard work to be able to try our hands at our own business full-time. It was a crazy mix of things and very stressful. But I was finally blessed to at least be home everyday with this new little one and his brothers - even if I was working much of the time. I grew very close to Samuel and he and I were inseperable. When he was 2, we moved to a larger home since our 1200 square foot home was bursting at the seams with 6 of us. And just 6 weeks after that move, he had the accident that inspired this website. What a trial that I pray to never again relive! Yet, the things I have learned I can never repay. Samuel is still an angel in our midst each and everyday - teaching us the things that are truly important. Teaching to be more patient, more loving, more kind, more tolerable, more faithful, more believing, more understanding, and so much more.
And then, just 11 months after that fateful day, boy number 5 (Nathan) made his surprise appearance into our lives. It was a rocky beginning as he was our only premature baby, but within a few weeks, he appeared to be doing well. However, I thought my heart could never learn to love this new little boy. It seemed to be too shattered from all that it had lost just months earlier. I didn’t understand how God could expect me to take Nathan into my life. Today, just 2 years later, I count him as one of my greatest miracles also. I don’t know if anything else could have ever repaired my heart as much as Nathan did. And I will be eternally grateful to a Father in Heaven who knew what I needed and blessed me with this beautiful, blond haired, blue eyed boy.
In the last 3 years, we have experienced so much. We’ve been in more car accidents and fires than I care to remember, been in more doctor’s offices and hospitals than I can ever forget. We’ve traveled more of the world than ever before, and yet stayed home more than we ever would have imagined. We have cried more than anyone should and laughed to keep ourselves sane. And now, as I watch these pictures of myself, my husband, and my 5 boys, I realize I have been blessed more than I ever would have imagined. Each of them is precious. Each of them is a miracle. Each of them is a gift from God, as are all of our experiences - good and bad.
I have had 2 people ask me this week if I still believe God will heal Samuel since it’s been so long and he still is not better. In essence they are asking, when and if I still believe our miracle will come. I have written this before, but I do not believe our miracle will come in one moment in time. I believe we are living in the midst of one. And it may be decades before it is complete. I do not know. What I do know is this…
Samuel should have died. I have read story after story of near drownings and the outcome is always different. But we have definite details indicating that Samuel was in the water at least 9 minutes AFTER 911 was called. I would estimate at least another 2 minutes before CPR was started. And at least another 4 minutes (at least) before that phone call was made. Children in the water for 15-18 minutes do not recover as much as Samuel has. They live their lives unresponsive. They live their lives with traches and on vents. They can’t see. They can’t hear. They can’t move. They can’t smile. They don’t appear to understand things. And, they don’t normally improve.
I know there is a long road ahead. And I know this could very well be a lifetime of constant care for this not so little boy anymore. But I don’t want ANYONE to see that as me not getting my miracle. I’ve already had one, two, three, four, five, six…so many miracles. And I know that God will continue to bless us with the things He knows we need. My search for things to help Samuel is not evidence that I don’t have faith he can be healed by God. It is exactly the opposite. I am willing to do all that I can to help God heal him no matter how remote that possibility may seem. But, if it doesn’t happen in this life, I won’t fault God. Because I have already been blessed beyond measure. It is all the “ordinary” and not so “ordinary” miracles in my life that I am thankful for. And I just want everyone to know that!
Love,
Teresa
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September 14th, 2008 at 6:23 am, Mom Jewkes Says:
My dear Teresa,
What a beautiful story! I’m going to copy it and put it in my journal. I just want to thank you… and Samuel for all the wonderful things you have taught me… and have taught everybody else. As we each go through our own trials, which aren’t anything like yours, I pray we can learn and grow as you have.
Thank you for being our lovely daughter-in-law, the wife of our son, and the mother of 5 of our wonderful grandchildren. You are, indeed a blessing to all of us!
Lots of love from you’re forever mothing-in-law.
September 14th, 2008 at 3:48 pm, Sylvia Says:
AMEN!
September 14th, 2008 at 5:39 pm, Sharon Jewkes Says:
Teresa, I was so touched by this beautiful story. As I told you before, you need to publish your writings in a book. It would be great inspiration to others that have a life of trials. It would give them hope and purpose. Thank you for sharing your personal life. I would like to view the photos, but have not been able to go any further than the first click on ‘portraits’. There doesn’t seem to be any place to click after that and no place for a pass word. Any suggestions? She is a marvelous photographer. Thank you.
September 14th, 2008 at 9:10 pm, Natalie Says:
Once again, you have me in tears! I did notice the song last week when I looked at the pics and thought it was so fitting for your wonderful Samuel. I just really admire you, your faith, and the strength that you have had through everything. You are an amazing woman and I’m so glad to call you my friend. I have to say, when I read the part about Nathan and you wondering if you could love him after all that happened, I could totally relate. When Bubba came along, I was so nervous about the same stuff. But he, too, healed my heart and has brought SO much happiness into our home. Heavenly Father sure knows what we need sometimes when we don’t! Love you.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:55 pm, Suzi Searles Says:
How beautiful! I really enjoyed reading your wonderful story, it is full of hope and goodness. I was just thinking tonight about writing on Luke’s blog about all that I have to be thankful about and after reading your post it has inspired me to do just that. So often people get stuck in a rut of feeling like they just can’t get out and make a difference, but you have proven that just isn’t so. You inspire and bring hope to many people as you share your feelings of being blessed. Thank you for taking the time to write.
Be blessed today,
Suzi Searles
September 15th, 2008 at 7:14 pm, CINDY TAYLOR Says:
Sweet, Wonderful Teresa, I tell your Mom quite often how much of an inspiration you are to all of us!!! Reading of all that has happened over the last three years has given me reason to put you up on a pedistal. I am amazed at your determination to find ways of helping Samuel and going to Canada and everywhere else and taking all the other mishaps ie: burning suburban, burning of your business and on and on. You seem to take them all in stride. I loved the post I just read from 9/13/08 the story from the beginning and your sweet feelings for all you special boys and your husband! I truely admire you and your very special family! Love Always, Cindy Taylor
September 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm, Liz and Ashleigh Says:
Wow. That song just fits so perfectly. I just love the photos. What a wonderful achievement to have met and married so young and to have such a loving and beautiful family.
September 20th, 2008 at 12:46 pm, Tammy and Parker Says:
Hey You.
Will you shoot me an email? I’m hoping to talk you into guest posting at www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com.
Pretty please?