An interesting meeting…
July 30, 2010 | Updates
Tonight we went to the Preston rodeo. Great rodeo, by the way…even though we all couldn’t sit together because the handicapped section was very, very small and didn’t accomodate room for the families of the disabled (weird). But now I know what section to get seats in if we ever go again :).
But I’m writing tonight because of a lady that I met at the rodeo. A really nice lady that I enjoyed talking to.
Getting seats where Samuel could sit once we got to the rodeo was a bit of a nightmare. And in the end, we had to make literally about 50 people stand.on.their.seats for us to even get to ours. It was a little ridiculous, but we finally got a nice spot and the rodeo began.
As we sat down, however, I realized I knew the lady behind me. But she didn’t seem to recognize me. And because of my great ability to remember names and faces (insert HUGE laugh here at my sarcasm), it took me literally an hour and a half to figure out why I knew her. And then I realized she was our nutritionist from Primary Children’s Hospital. But then I couldn’t figure out what she was doing in Preston and why she didn’t recognize US. We have only seen her a few times, but I think we would be pretty memorable for her because I make her work hard to figure out if my blenderized diet fits within their guidelines and Samuel makes her work hard by constantly moving around and having bouts of vomiting making it difficult for her to figure out how to get enough calories in him to actually GAIN WEIGHT. So although we don’t know each other that well, I assumed she would figure out who we were and, well, say “hello”.
By the end of the rodeo, though, I’d thought about it enough to be sure that I wasn’t sure if that was really her sitting behind me or not! But I HAD to ask. It was driving me crazy!
And so I did. And it wasn’t her. (No surprise there. Man, I’m SO BAD with name and faces.) But it was, instead, a really sweet lady who asked me about Samuel. And as we got talking, we discovered that we shared a very similar experience in our lives.
Twenty-two years ago, this women’s 2-year-old son fell into a canal.
A canal that was by her home.
A canal that her son rode his tricycle too close to and tumbled down into.
She wasn’t home at the time.
This little boy was her 4th child.
He did not recover from the drowning, however, and passed away.
A year later, she gave birth to another little boy.
That little boy was a surprise.
And that little boy comes home from his mission this week.
(If you’ve read this site for long enough, you’ll know that all of those things above apply to our story as well except that Samuel survived his near-drowning and his “surprise” little brother is just 4-years-old.)
You can imagine, I’m sure, that had things to talk about. In fact, I wish we could have talked longer. But Tom came to get me since the arena was pretty well empty and the kids were all waiting for me.
But in the few minutes that we talked, we both expressed many of the same feelings.
Both of us had dealt with the exact same experience with completely different outcomes.
Neither of us would dare trade outcomes with the other because we only knew our own outcome and that we could deal with it. (Honestly, the other outcome scares me as I would guess it does her. We feel safe in what we already know. And the other side of the coin would be such a different experience for either of us. In fact, I admire her that she endured her son’s passing and I’m sure she feels the same for me as we care for Samuel and his disabilities.)
In addition, both of us were so.very.grateful for the time that we had with our sons while they were healthy and well despite the pain that occurred when they were taken away. In other words, we wouldn’t have rather they were never born or never healthy. The small amount of time that we had with them was worth every drop of pain in loosing them and we would never trade that time to avoid the pain.
And we both wholeheartedly agreed that our “surprise” babies a year later absolutely healed us in ways that wouldn’t have been possible any other way.
It was the strangest thing because even though our paths were different, we felt so many of the same things.
And in a small way, I felt like I was seeing myself 20 years from now and it was comforting to see that it was all still ok.
I could see the deep love in her eyes that she still holds for her little boy who has been gone for so many years. And I could tell that she misses him. But I could also see that she has come to terms with it and that she has lived out the last twenty years trusting in a higher power and knowing that she will have that little boy again one day and that it will all be ok. And I could see that despite it all, she was geniunely happy.
And I guess for a moment, it was just really nice to talk to her because she so easily seemed to understand what I’d been through - even with our different “endings”. We sort of just “clicked”.
It was neat.
She also has a grandson with cerebral palsy so I gave her Samuel’s website and hope that I get to talk to her again so I can share some of what we’ve tried with Samuel that has seemed to help him so much.
As we drove home that night, I asked Tom if he thought maybe me meeting her wasn’t a coincidence.
I guess you never know.
But it seems a little more than happenstance to me.
And I like to think that we didn’t meet just by chance.
I guess life just seems a little funner that way :)!
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August 4th, 2010 at 6:12 am, Gramma Jewkes Says:
What a sweet, sweet story, Teresa. When I received the notice of this new posting this morning, I said in my mind, “Oh, good.” I love reading your site. I always do.
And I love you sooo MUCHLY!
Always and MUCHLY, forever,
Mom
August 4th, 2010 at 7:13 am, Natalie Says:
What an amazing story. You have such a way with words! You just never cease to amaze me. Glad you had this experience.
August 4th, 2010 at 8:34 am, Sylvia Says:
amazing story….it does sound as though she was heaven sent to provide you the message
August 4th, 2010 at 8:51 am, Sharon Jewkes Says:
You certainly were blessed to meet this special lady. It was meant to be. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. Another winning entry.
August 5th, 2010 at 11:28 am, Erin Says:
Pretty amazing to be a coincidence. I’m glad you were able to get a glimpse into the future through her.